Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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