I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
