So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
