This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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