remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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