You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize