its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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