i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
