Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
