Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
