Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
