idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
