break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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