Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
