UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
