I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
