Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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