READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
