dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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