Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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