i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
