should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
