Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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