my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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