That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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