Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize