Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
