dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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