please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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