So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
