If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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