i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
