bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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