You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
