so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
