Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
