You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
