She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
