we're blogging at a bar
return my video game
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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