remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
