I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
