i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I party with great urgency now.
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