and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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