Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
