So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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