is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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