Your favorite bartender is back from prision
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A bitchslap is in order.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
