things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
They are going to name an STD after you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
