I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
