Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
