I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
