This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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