Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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