Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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