Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
