seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We're too hungover to prance.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
