The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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