You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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