You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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