Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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