My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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