Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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