Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
