Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize