Your face is a jimmy john
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
