guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize