lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
