I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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