Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize