I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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