Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
